Repaying with a blessing

by Christina Manna

At church tonight I felt an extreme connecting point with something Pastor Pete Wilson said: “when someone hurts you repay them with a blessing.”  This simple statement really struck a chord with me as it directly relates to something I am going through right now.  Refer to my previous post about my last boyfriend/asshole/emotionally-baggaged douchebag to understand.  Now, there have been many times in my life when I felt someone has hurt me, but no hurt has ever come as such a surprise than with this person.  It was a hurt that didn’t go away for quite some time and will probably always be with me.  Out of everything in this “relationship” I regret how I reacted to this hurt the most.  Naturally, I wanted to make him feel the pain that I felt.  I used malicious words and even flirted with his very best friend.  Anything I could do to get back at him I did.  I remember one night he said “Christina, we are just the same” and I immediately realized I didn’t at all want to be like him.  Sure, he did some pretty awful things but by me getting back at him I was no different.  Fighting fire with fire can never lead to a good outcome, everyone just ends up burned.  So instead, I wish I would have repaid him with a blessing.  The words I would say have and will always be true no matter how neglectant (madeupword) I am to admit it.  So regardless or not of if he will ever hear them I will affirm them right now.  To my asshole- I want you to be happy and I truly hope you find whatever you are looking for.